T minus 15 days......

Until I have a 1 year old.....I tucked him in his crib a few hours ago and just looked at him for a few minutes....Thinking back to a year ago, I had no idea how my life was going to change...I mean a year ago I was 9 months pregnant and I knew having a baby would change me as person, change our household, change our marriage, change my world...I just had no idea how this little person could change everything about me.  My mission is to be his momma....I know this because it brings me complete joy every single day.....I struggled for many years because I  knew something was missing in my life....I had a great husband and a great marriage, a great house, great dogs....but I still didnt feel like I was complete...I am complete.....the past year of my life has been the best and I know it will just keep getting better...I am really struggling with the fact of doing IVF again and trying for another baby. I am I would say 92% sure we are done.  I always just pleaded with God, just please give me a baby to love...I got my baby...he is healthy, he is happy, I am happy...what more could I want.  And honestly the thought of needles, paperwork, doctors appts, medicines, 2 week waits....I just dont think I see myself doing it for the 3rd time.  I am having some health issues...so I know I have to make a choice sooner then later, it just makes me uneasy to make such a permanet choice....I dont feel prepared at 27 to make it....but I really didnt feel prepared at 21 sitting in a reproductive doctors office going through an IVF, but I did it and got through it, so I know I will get through this. I just hope I can make the right choice for me, for Cecil, for Quinn..for our family...I am going to do what I have done this entire journey...pray about it, ask God to lead me...

Back to my baby boy.....and I mean boy oh boy..do I mean boy....he is a total boy...loves dirt, bugs, playing outside, cars, motorcylces, blocks, legos......he throws everything, he thinks everything is a ball......throws everything out of the grocery cart, carseat, high chair, stoller......The kid does not know a stranger....he will talk to anyone....he loves people and loves kids.....he loves dogs.....he loves to sleep on his belly....he loves food...and not baby food...big boy food....everything we eat...he eats...he loves drinking out of a sippy cup...he thinks hes so big.....he loves, loves, loves this crochet blanket his great, great grandma made for him, he just lights up when he sees it, and he sleeps with it everynight...which is totally cool...

he gave up his paci on his own....has no desire for it what so ever......easy enough.....

he is "talking" non stop...mostly things I cant understand..but hes says...momma, dada, baby, no, yeah

hes working on his 7th tooth..so he has a toothy smile and it melts my heart.....

We spend our days playing, going for walks, playing outside, reading...he is just a happy guy...all the time