And it starts......

Today I started Birthcontrol, that is the first step in the IVF process. I will take it for 2 months to get rid of my ovarion cysts. Kindof ironic Im taking birth control to start trying to have a baby!

I also know there are some of you who will read this and have no idea what the IVF process is. I mean I had no clue until I went thur it.

IVF in non medical terms is, putting an egg and sperm together from the mother and father and letting it grow into an embryo for ethier 3 or 5 days, and then putting those embryos back into the mother, that is called the "transfer"

The process starts by me taking tons of medicine, oral and shots, to produce tons of eggs, women typically only harvest a few eggs a month, with the meds I will harvest at least 20 eggs. During this time I am so swollen from all the eggs, that I already look pregant. And yes last time I did this, I did have people ask if I was expecting, so thats super hard. Well after you make all these eggs, you have to go to the Doctor everyday to measure them, once most of the eggs are what they call "mature" you head to the doctor the next day for what is called the retriveal. You get sedated and they go in and remove all the eggs they can find. Then they are putting into a petri dish with sperm and left alone for 3 to 5 days to become embryos. The embryos are graded and they will only put back 2-3 of the best graded embryos. They rest, if there is more, can be frozen for later use.

After the 3 to 5 days, the mother goes back and does the "transfer" which means they put the 2-3 best embryos back into the woman. Then is the 2 week wait, which is the longest 2 weeks ever. After 2 weeks you go in for bloodwork to see if you are pregnant or not.

Now our first IVF experience was in January of 2007. In the egg retrieval the doctor only retrieved 7 eggs, which is not good for my young age. We had 2 pretty good quaility embryos to put back on transfer day. We had none to freeze which was a bummer. The 2 week wait came and went and then we recieved the bad news on a Saturday in early Febuary 2007. I just cried in Cecils arms for hours that day. It was the most devestated I have ever felt in my life. Not only did we spend our life savings, we had NOTHING to show for it.

This time I am conquering this with a whole new attitude and plan. Like I said I will be changing my diet to 90% organic and no meat or dairy. I will be yoga, fertility massage, accupunture, and meditation. I also have become a lot more faithful since the last time. Now there are many times I have been pissed off at God. Expecially when I see young moms who have there babies and leave them in the bathroom trashcan to die, or the women who have 13 babies from 13 different dads. Its very hard, but I know God is going to give us the baby or babies we are supposed to have. I have complete faith.

Im sure most of you are wondering, where is Cecil in all of this, what does he think, what does he feel. The people that know Cecil know that knows he is not very open with feelings. He has been my rock. There has been many of times when he has picked me up off the bathroom floor, after another negative pregnany test and just held me. He tries to take all the pain away, and I know he struggles not knowing what to say sometimes, but he has been perfect so far. I couldnt imagine going thur this without him. He does all of my shots and medicine. This had made me fall more in love with him, then I even thought was possible. Together we will make it thru this journey.