We ARE PREGNANT!

So....I have been waiting years to beable to say that. We are still pretty much in shock. I thought for sure it was over for us, but our great God had other plans. This past Sunday I felt pretty sick to my stomach and just didnt feel right. Now I had taken about 5 home pregnancy tests from about last Wednesday the 23rd till Friday the 25th, all NEGATIVE. So I just decided I wasnt going to do anymore, but I just had to figure out why I felt so bad. So I snuck out and got 2 tests. Did not tell a soul. Came back home and peed on the stick and all the sudden 2 lines popped up. I have never seen the second line in my life. I feel to my knees and just started crying. Cecil wasnt home, but returned about 5 mins later. I just walked outside and he could see I was crying and he said whats wrong and I just handed him the test. He thought I was just handing him another negative test....he looked down and he said I dont know what this means, and I said its means we are pregnant. We didnt say anything after that, we just grabbed each other and I cried. We were in total shock. So on Monday I took another test and it was another positive. I called my nurse because I am still having cramps pretty bad at this point and she tells me its pretty common in early pregnany to have cramps, but she decides to move my blood test to the Monday they 28th. So I go over and get my blood test, and she calls back at 1:30 and says, yep we know why you are feeling bad, you are def pregnant. Again the tears came.

Well I had to go back today for more blood work to make sure my HCG levels are doubling, I was more nervous for today then ANYTHING. I was a wreck. I went about 10am this morning and had my blood taken. Got the call about at 1pm, saying my numbers have doubled and my beta was at 560, which is a GREAT number.

I am still doing one shot a night of pregestrone and I wear 2 estraderm patches, and I will keep doing that for a few more weeks.

Our ultra sound is set for Oct 13th, 2 days after my 26 th b-day. We will be able to see how many babies there are and hear heartbeats. We are SO excited. As of today I am 2 weeks and 6 days pregnant. So it is still very, very early. Things are looking great right now, but we still have so far to go. Please keep these little guys in your prayers, that they contuine to grow over the next 38 weeks.

We love you all and cant wait to share this journey with you! thanks again for everything
xoxo-Kari

1 week down, 1 to go

Well we are a week since our transfer, and 1 week away from my blood pregnancy test. The few days after the transfer were crazy. Thursday and friday, I laid around all day. Thank God for my mom and my husband. They made sure I was well taken care of. Thursday I didnt really feel anything, but Friday morning I got pretty sick and just had some major cramping. The cramping was still around on Saturday and pretty much gone by Sunday. No idea what was going on.

The 2 week wait is so intense and insane. It is the biggest emotional rollercoaster of my life. The days drag by and I wonder about every twinge in my body. Today was a tough, tough day for me. I couldnt take it anymore and I did a home pregnany test. It was negative. I know its early, but it is just such a blow to see a negative. I dont know what to think anymore. I was so upset all day. My awesome husband left work early to come home and get me out of the house. When he got home, we just sat and I cried on his shoulder. We then went to lunch. I could not make it without him. I honestly dont know what I would do without him through this.

Im not counting myself out yet, but its not looking great. But we believe in miracles and we are still praying all the time about it. I hope that I am totally shocked in a week with a positive, but I am bracing myself for the worst.

Thank you for everyone who has kept up with us the last few weeks! Hopefully a great miracle will happen next wednesday and I will beable to update with the fact we have a baby on the way. But if not, I have faith God will lead us in the right direction with what to do next.

First Picture of our baby or babies........

So on Sept 16th we had our embryo transfer. When we arrived, I was SO nervous. I had not heard how our embryos were doing since Monday. On Monday we found out that of our 6 embryos, 1 stopped growing, 2 were looking great, and 3 were growing but slow. So we were so scared we were going to go come in and have them say all of them stopped growing. But we got there I went to the surgery center and waited for my doctor. He told us we had 1 perfect embryo, 1 almost perfect and all the others had stopped growing. We were bummed because we have none to freeze, no back-up plan. But we were so happy 2 of our guys had held on and contiuned to grow. So I signed off on putting the 2 embryos back in. Cecil sat beside me on a stool and I had an ultra sound machine on my belly. Now your bladder has to be SO full at this point, so the doctor can see what he is doing. He loaded the catheader (not sure how to spell that) with our 2 embryos and Cecil and watched on the screen, they kindof floated and then splashed in right where they needed to go. The picture above is the embryos in there, to the left of the black open part is a smaller white dot, and it looks like a circle around it, those our, our 2 embryos!

The doctor was very pleased and very confident! I was taken right back to my room where I had to lay flat for one hour. I had to pee so bad at this point from drinking so much to get my bladder full. So long behold I had my first experience peeing in a wonderful bedpan! Poor nurse. I had to though, there was NO way I could lay there for an hour with that full of a bladder.

After the hour, we came home, ate Jimmy Johns for lunch and I have been on the couch ever since. I feel okay, other then fact I am very bloated and uncomfortable. But I will make it. Cecil has been great, making sure I have everything I need. Now we are in the 2 week wait, the WORST part I think. We have to wait 2 weeks and then I do bloodwork to find out if the pregnancy took. Implantation is supposed to happen between 1-5 days after the transfer, so ANY time now my little guys could be snuggling in! We are hoping and praying they want to stay around for 9 more months.......

There will not be much to update for the next 2 weeks, I will be taking it very easy and trying to relax and NOT go crazy!

Once again, all the support has been wonderful, please keep us in your prayers for the next 5 days, and that our embryos decide to stay around!

xoxo-Kari

how can you be so nervous & so excited at the same time

Well I am hopefully writing you on the last day of my not pregnant life.......tomorrow is our embryo transfer. Right now I am SO nervous. But I will back up a bit.......

I went in Sept 11th for my egg retrival, it did not go as good as I would have hoped, but it wasnt a total bust ethier. I got there and got prepped and waited on the Doc. Finally we went back, and I got the good drugs, I was loopy, but I could kindof hear my Docs and nurses talking. Cecil was in there with me. SO if you remeber the end of last week I had a 15 eggs, well we could only get to 8 of them at the retrival, some of them where just empty, which meant there was no egg growing, and I guess my left ovary is kindof tilted which made it hard to get to some. I was hoping for 10, but was happy with 8.

We were extactic the next morning when they called and said of the 8, 6 had fertilized! Which meant we were going to put 2 back and freeze 4. Well the next report on Monday, wasnt as good. We are now down to 2 embryos, she said they are almost perfect but of the other 4, 1 just stopped growing and three are not growing like they should. SO SAD! Yet so thankful 2 of our little guys are still hanging on. There is a slight chance some of the 3 that are behind could catch up, so we are really praying maybe one of 2 of them have a growth spurt!

So I havent heard anything about them since Monday, it has been miserable...they try not to disturb them in their environment because one wrong thing can be a disaster. So yesterday and today, I have been a wreck...I want to know if the two strong ones are still growing and how they are looking? I want to know if any of the other 3 have shown any signs of being viable??? Its a nightmare not knowing.......Please keep them in your prayers, there are so many things that can go wrong, they are SO fragile.

Tomorrow is the BIG day, hopefully the 2 strong ones are still looking strong and if so they will be implanted at 1:00pm tomorrow. I am going to an accuputunre appt before the transfer, it is supposed to help with implantation. The next 2 days I will be on bed rest. I rented some movies and are good to go.

I know I have said it a 1,000 x's but the support we have recieved has been unreal..........if I am having a bad day, I know I can be lifted up just by comments and prayers from you guys.

It is in God's hands and I am leaving it that way. He has a plan for us and if these 2 little embryos are supposed to implant they will.

Fear Not. Just Trust. I will not fail you.
Go forward fearlessly
Trust and be not afraid
Rest in my certainty
rely on me
Let Go and Let Go

...............................the greater the fight, the greater the victory......................................

In the Home Stretch

Well Cecil and I went for my 3rd ultra sound and blood draw of the long weekend, poor nurses having to work their entire labor day weekend. I felt bad. But my E2 level today was 1440, which is getting up there. Not in the scary zone yet.....on the other hand, it means I am producing those eggs, and I am producing well. And I only have to do 2 of my shots tonight instead of 3! As of today my nurse, measured 15 little eggs! I have reached my goal. Now just because there are 15 in there, doesnt mean during the retrival the DR will beable to get them all out. We hope he can get as many out as possible, but he will not beable to find all of them. (Last IVF, I had 16 eggs and they only got 7 out at the retrival) We are hoping for at least 10 on retrival day. The next few days I have to take it very easy and push gatorade and fluids. I DO NOT want to get OHHS, which means I have overstimulated and could be cancelled.

The next 3 days will be very uncomfortable. I am VERY bloated, no longer able to fit into anything besides sweats and dresses. This week alone I have but on 7.5 pounds...so its a big change to my body. But it looks like FRIDAY Sept 11th is the big day, the retrival, I know what a day right, but I actually feel good about it. For one its my moms birthday and I know its Sept 11th, but I feel almost like everyone who tragically lost their life on that day will be looking down on us trying to bring a new life into this world. And my sister, will actually be in town for a wedding, so she will be here too.

Well I will update on Wednesday, I got back for another ultra sound and blood draw. Please keep our little guys in your prayers that they continue to grow.
xoxo Kari

Update.....

Well I know I have used this picture before, but I wanted to use it again because I have

officially started on all these medicines and shots. I am on day 4 of my stim meds.

(Which we want to help me produce tons of eggs, the more the better) We are hoping

for between 15-20 eggs. I am doing 3 shots a night, Lupron 5 units, Menopur 75 units, and Follistim 100 units. The Lupron and Follistim are easy peasy, Menopur NOT SO MUCH.

Menopur is fine sticking the needle in, but when Cecil started to push the medicine in, Im not going to lie, it burns so bad, it feels like someone is taking a pocket knife and stabbing me in the belly. Fun Right?? I am also taking 3 other pills a day, just to keep my risk of infection down.

I went in yesterday for my first blood draw. My estrogen level was a 328, which is good. I AM PRODUCING EGGS! That is the first hurdle. My levels were actually a little high, which is a good and bad thing, it means I am porducing great, but I dont want o over produce because you can overstimulate and it can cancel your cycle and make you very, very sick. So there is a fine line there and we dont want to cross it. So they knocked my Follistim shot from 100 units to 75 units per night. I go back to the doctor every other day now for an ultrasound and bloodwork. We will do this until they consider the eggs mature. So I will go back tomorrow (Saturday) at 7:15 to see the little guys on the ultra sound. I am feeling, well I will say OKAY, not great but not super bad. I have my moments where I feel really, really sick. Its about 12 hours after my shots. I am having trouble sleeping because I am unformtable and my hot flashes are getting worse. The thing about stimming meds is they make you really, really bloated in the tummy, because your body is not used to producing so many eggs....and my ovaries feel like they weight 500 pounds each. So it gets very unformtable and the more meds I put into my body, the worse it gets...so I will let you know next week how I feel. :) The longest I could take these stims is one more week, but I will proably go before that since I am repsonding good to the medicines. I am trying to creat a great place for the eggs to grow and flourish right now. So no exercise, no pop, no junk food (I have slipped a few times) no lifting anything.

In other news, V-ball season is in full swing. We are struggling a bit this year, hopefully we will pick it up. I love the girls though and enjoy coaching them.

House news, well its kindof taking a back burner to IVF right now. So its not moving a long quite as fast as it was, but thats fine, we knew and prepared for this. Now we are hoping to be all done and moved in my Nov 1st. Right now electrical is still going on, drywall in our kitchen and this weekend will be starting on the master bath and walk in closet addition.

And Cecil and I are going to the first Notre Dame football game tomorrow, we are in the first rom and SO excited. We are huge fans, its just a great atomsphere up there and we love it!

Well thats all for now, I will be updating a lot the next few weeks because we are in the home stretch! I really, really appreciate all the support and I dont know what I would do with out it. Please keep up all the prayers, we are in no means out of the woods yet, there are still a million things to go wrong. But I feel really calm and I feel Gods presence on our side this time.

Everyone have a great Labor Day!

xoxo-kari